Weekend Box Office Recap: Smurfs vs. Cowboys and Aliens… there is no God (UPDATED)

Why yes that is a man lighting a fart

Update: With the numbers now official Cowboys and Aliens did win the weekend… by less than $1M. That’s still a huge upset. Tehre are a few theories flying around, one being that because so many screens were showing C&A in 3d, the movie ended up losing volume due to higher pricing. My personal theory? We’ve found the lowest common denominator of stupid, formulaic summer blockbusters. A movie so wanktastic that people would rather see a half-assed remake of a cartoon that hasn’t been relevant since 1991.

The weekend box office estimates are making the rounds and it appears that either a bunch of little blue men or aliens and cowboys will earn the top spot with approximately $36.2 million. Of course the fact that Cowboys and Aliens earned only $36.2M is a huge disappointment, given the film cost somewhere between $163M and $200M. Who could have seen that coming? A sci-fi western that has been in production for 14 years with numerous re-writes, and a huge marketing campaign that revealed almost nothing about the premise of the film or the motivations of the titular Cowboys or Aliens. Sounds like a sure-fire winner to me.

On the other hand, The Smurfs¬†winning the weekend despite being an ungodly queef of a movie is about the least surprising new I’ve ever heard. I lost all ability to be shocked by the shallowness and stupidity of people a long time ago. If you wonder why more good movies aren’t made this is a perfect example. Why invest in writing, directing, effects, or acting when you can put together a movie about blue dwarfs playing Guitar Hero with Neil Patrick Harris and rake in the money. And yes, in case you were wondering, there is a sequel in production.

(figures via Deadline)

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Posted on August 1, 2011, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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