Weekend Preview: Nothing Doing
I’m moving today, so your weekend preview is coming early. Just accept it.
Our Idiot Brother: Paul Rudd is a lovable buffoon who teaches his family a lesson about seeing the good in others. Or something along those lines.
Rotten Tomatoes: 69%
Uninformed Commentary: I realize that is fodder for middle-class liberal intellectuals, but let us have our things, okay? The monster truck crowd gets 15 movies a summer, we deserve at least one. All you Sevendust listening jackanapes got Fast 5, Transformers 3, Conan the Barbarian, and to a lesser extent The Green Latern, Thor, Captain America, and X-Men First Class. All we got is The Help and half of us found it insulting. Also, I bet Zooey Deschanel’s farts smell like rainbows.
Columbiana: Zoe Saldana is an assassin hunting down her parent’s killers
Rotten Tomatoes: 44%
Uninformed Commentary: Woof. This is from the writers of Taken so at least there will be some things to laugh at during the movie. Also it’s directed by some guy named Olivier Megaton, personally if I were him, I’d get my last name changed to Megatron, that’s much more badass.
On another note, Hollywood needs to stop expecting me to believe that women like Zoe Saldana, who looks like she lives solely on water and the occasional salad, can kick the crap out of a 200 pound man. I don’t care how many martial arts you know, there’s a reason that combat sports have weight classes.
Breaking Bad: Here’s your weekly injunction to watch Breaking Bad along with this week’s promo:
Friends With Benefits: Catch the last few episodes of this unfunny sitcom that NBC canceled even before it aired! Or don’t, no one really cares.
Football: More NFL preseason games, just get to the regular season already before my beloved Giants lose their entire starting defense.
Baseball: This is the least interesting pennant race in recent memory. The only competitive races are in the AL Central and NL West, the two weakest divisions in the sport. The Angels and Rangers face off this weekend and have been surprisingly competitive in the AL West as well, although I see Texas as the better team by a fair margin.