‘Lone Ranger’ Won’t Go Away

Hey remember that Lone Ranger movie that Jerry Bruckheimer was making, that was really about Tonto and werewolves? Remember how it mercifully got canned because it had a $250MM budget and looked like the kind of dump I take after going to El Pollo Loco? Well apparently just like Jason Voorhees, it has risen from the dead to assail our brains with more of the idiocy that passes for creativity in movies these days:

This is the kind of Maalox moment which explains why studio moguls get paid the big bucks. Because Walt Disney Studios Chairman Rich Ross now has a very public decision to make about whether to go forward with The Lone Ranger. We’ve learned that producer Jerry Bruckheimer and attached director Gore Verbinski are jointly presenting a new budget “in the $215M range” to Ross after weeks of trimming it from the previously proposed $275M which caused Disney to balk and halt production. That’s still not the $200M number which the studio really wanted but is lower than the $220M at which Disney indicated to all concerned it might compromise. Now here’s the other complicating factor: insiders tell us that Johnny Depp, who’s attached to play Tonto, really wants to make The Lone Ranger but won’t do it without Verbinski directing.

Ooo, such a hard decision… should I make a $215MM turd helmed by the same guy who made Pirates of the Caribbean (Pooprates of the Crappibean? too juvenile?) or should I save my money and make something good?

As an insider tells us: “This isn’t about a specific number we’re trying to hit. At this point it’s about the vision of the movie and what is the price for that vision.”

Oh goddamn it, just go away. Anyways, expect to see The Lone Ranger in summer 2013, if the world isn’t some sort of post-apocalyptic hellscape by then (at this rate my bet is on hellscape). Rated Arg for Pirates, F*ck you!


Posted on September 1, 2011, in Crappy Movies and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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