Weekend Recap: Let’s Just Avoid Talking About Sports

Goodbye Forever Assh*les

There’s a lesson to be learned from this weekend’s box office numbers. People really like watching Gwyneth Paltrow getting her head sawed off. Contagion earned over $20MM to finally take the top box office spot from The Help which earned slightly less than $9MM. This all begs the question, are white people going to see The Help  a second time? Because I figure you guys had all seen it by now. Overall, it was one of the slowest weekends of the year, with the box office bringing in less money than it did during Hurricane Irene. Probably the biggest disappointment was Warrior which finished third with only a $5.6MM gross, but that’s what you get when your target audience is young males and you open the same weekend that the NFL season starts.

There is a silver lining to all of this, however, as Buck Larsen tanked, earning only $1.5MM, earning less money than a movie called Laugh at my Pain, which I have never heard of, and proving that it’s never a good idea to go full retard. We can only pray that this brings an end to Happy Madison’s reign of tyranny. As much as I like Nick Swardson, I would gladly see his career go down in flames if it meant that Sandler never released another film again.

In TV Entourage wrapped up its eight year run of douchiness with a blatant set-up for a movie that will just piss us all off even more. True Blood also had its season finale, meaning now we can get back to shows that employ concepts such as writing and acting. Breaking Bad remained awesome.

As for sports, BC lost by 27, the Red Sox got swept by the Rays and have now lost 5 straight, and the Giants lost to the f*cking Redskins. You can see how my picks went here. Let’s never talk about this again.


Posted on September 12, 2011, in College Football, Crappy Movies, Crappy TV shows, Douchebags, NFL, weekend recap and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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