But Now Who Will Complain About Everything?

Terrible news everyone! America’s most lovable curmudgeonly old fart, Andy Rooney is calling it quits after 5000 years of complaining about everything. I bet this is because those neighbor kids wouldn’t turn off their hippity-hop music and pull up their pants:

 Andy Rooney, who began his run as the end-of-show commentator on 60 Minutes in 1978, will make his final regular appearance on the CBS newsmagazine this Sunday, the network said today — though it’s possible that the 92-year-old will stay on in some reduced capacity. His final original essay — his 1,097th, according to the Associated Press — will be preceded during Sunday’s telecast by a career retrospective segment on Rooney with correspondent Morley Safer. The network is preparing a press release now.

For some reason the words, “reduced capacity,” being used to describe Andy Rooney made me laugh. Was Andy ever young? My theory is he was born an 80 year old infant like Benjamin Button, except he didn’t age backwards. That’s probably why he kept getting grumpier as the years progressed.

In all seriousness, Rooney has been one of the most recognizable figures in TV journalism for over 30 years which is quite an accomplishment. It will certainly be strange not having him around at the end of 60 Minutes. My recommendation? Replace him with Panthers owner Jerry Richardson. It’ll be like nothing ever changed.


Posted on September 28, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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