Only in Florida

Now that we’ve gotten all serious and melancholy about the death of Steve Jobs, I return you to your regularly schedule of inappropriate topics and fart jokes with a story about my 5th favorite past time, midget dwarf tossing. As you can imagine this story comes out of Florida, which despite the existence of Ohio, Alabama, Mississippi, and Arizona, remains the most embarrassing state in our great union:

A Florida lawmaker has filed a bill that would repeal a state law prohibiting dwarf tossing in bars.

Rep. Ritch Workman of Melbourne filed House Bill 4063 on Monday.

“To me it’s an archaic kind of Big Brother law that says, ‘We don’t like that activity,'”  Workman told the Florida Current. “Well, there is nothing immoral or illegal about that activity. All we really did by passing that law was take away some employment from some little people.”

Added Workman, “Those little bastards love getting tossed around like beach balls. No I’ve never asked any of them how they felt about it, what does that matter?” I will give Mr. Workman some credit, this is definitely the most ambitious and innovative jobs program I’ve ever heard of. SUCK ON THAT OBAMA.

I guess there’s nothing immoral about midget tossing in the sense that it doesn’t violate any biblical law, y’know unless you consider having fun at the expense of one specific group of people immoral. There is however, something illegal about it, because there is a law against it.

Anyways Floridians, it’s time to start doing some curls. Those dwarfs are heavy. When does ESPN 8 start covering the World Dwarf Toss Championships? Yes, that was a Dodgeball joke. *sad trombone, shows self the door*


Posted on October 6, 2011, in Douchebags, Florida, Random News Stories and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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