Oh Just F*cking Go Away, Glenn Beck

I don’t talk about politics much, because its boring and I like offending you with my terrible jokes rather than my political views. However, if there’s one thing that we can all agree on as rational human beings, it’s that the world has been a much better place since Glenn Beck stopped having a TV show. I haven’t thought about Beck in months and I couldn’t be happier about that. However, unfortunately for humanity, Glenn hasn’t disappeared off the face of the Earth.

What caused Glenn Beck to cry on Today this morning? Did someone make Beck sit in a drum circle at the Occupy Wall Street movement? Or did someone buy him an Obama 2012 bumper sticker for his car? Nope, it’s neither of those things.

Rather, during a taped interview with Kathie Lee Gifford, the former Fox News commentator got emotional talking about the his own difficult childhood, which he drew inspiration from for his latest fiction book The Snow Angel. Among other things, Gifford and Beck discussed his mother’s death, a possible suicide, and why he and his family didn’t talk about it for a long time. “When you live in an alcoholic family or an abusive family, you tiptoe, you don’t want to step on any mines,” Beck said.

Now if I wanted to be tasteless and boorish, you may say Beckish, I may say something about conspiracy theories or the Bilderberg group. But I’m above that. I’m sorry that you had a tough childhood Glenn, I really am. Maybe if you had had a normal, compassionate family, you would be a well-adjusted human being rather than an unhinged lunatic put in front of the public to rile up the assorted gun-toting masses (get it, because they’re fat) that populate places like Florida. Now kindly go away forever please. Okay? Okay.

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Posted on October 26, 2011, in Crappy TV shows, Douchebags, Florida and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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