Week 12 NFL Recap (Updated)
Before we get to the picks; a quick programming note. Posting will be sparse and somewhat irregular this week as I have to go out of town for a few days. The weekly Gregg Easterbrooking will run a day late, on Wednesday, and the picks will be posted on Friday as scheduled. Other than that, I’ll try to hammer out a few quick posts, but I can’t promise anything. What? Did you expect me to treat this in a professional manner?
My Pick: Green Bay (-6) over DETROIT; Reality: Packers 27 – Lions 15; Not nearly as fun, or close (the Lions scored a garbage time TD to make the score more appealing) as everyone expected. For the record, I do think that Ndamukong Suh’s actions have no place in the game and his explanation for them is weak at best, but I guarantee that the reactions from commentators everywhere will make me want to puke. Prepare for weeks of hearing that Suh is the greatest threat to western civilization this side of Kim Jong Il.
My Pick: DALLAS (-7) over Miami; Reality: Dolphins 19 – Cowboys 20; I hate the Cowboys soooo much. Also, it was awesome to watch the Dolphins attempt to use the veer option by snapping the ball from the left tackle spot even though the play only gained a yard. I just wish I could find video of it somewhere.
My Pick: San Francisco (+3) over BALTIMORE; Reality: 49ers 6 – Ravens 16; The Ravens are another team that I’m really starting to despise. WHY DON’T YOU TRY WHEN I PICK YOU????
My Pick: ST. LOUIS (-3) over Arizona; Reality: Cardinals 23 – Rams 20; In my defense, I made this pick using the eenie meenie method.
My Pick: Buffalo (+8) over NY JETS; Reality: Bills 24 – Jets 28; For the record, Stevie Johnson’s Plaxico mocking made me laugh, then when I thought about it later I got angry because I truly believe that the 2008 Giants would have repeated as Super Bowl Champions had Burress not worn sweatpants to a nightclub. Guns don’t slip causing you to shoot yourself if you put them in the waist band of your jeans. NO ONE DENIES THIS. God, I hate you Plax. Also, Peyton Manning is almost certainly going to be the Jets’ QB in 2012.
My Pick: CINCINNATI (-7) over Cleveland; Reality: Browns 20 – Bengals 23; I like doing these picks because it leads me to root for silly things to happen during games. For example, as the Browns tried to stage a last minute drive (spoiler: they failed) Ryan and I were both rooting for a Bengals pick-six which would allow us to cover (spoiler: didn’t happen). Also, the Bengals are totally making the playoffs. Watch me pick them to win the Super Bowl.
My Pick: Houston (-3) over JACKSONVILLE; Reality: Texans 20 – Jaguars 17; Matt Leinart actually looked pretty good before he broke his collarbone. Houston has a two game cushion in the AFC South over the Titans, which might be enough to get them in to the playoffs even though they’ll be starting TJ Yates at QB the rest of the way. This will serve as your weekly reminder of how awful the AFC South is. Also, benching Blaine Gabbert in the fourth quarter makes zero sense if you’re Jacksonville. I know he sucks, but you spent a first round pick on the guy hoping he’d be your QB of the future, you have to live through the growing pains, it’s not like you’re making the playoffs anyway.
My Pick: Carolina (-3.5) over INDIANAPOLIS; Reality: Panthers 27 – Colts 19; The Colts had a legitimate chance to win this game, but openly appeared to be dogging it. It’s pretty apparent now that they’re tanking the season because if they were at all interested in winning a single game, Kerry Collins or Dan Orlovsky would be starting at QB instead of Curtis Painter. Curtis Painter is awful.
My Pick: TENNESSEE (-3) over Tampa Bay; Reality: Bucs 17 – Titans 23; Tennessee has a legit chance to win the AFC South now and it looks like Chris Johnson (190 rush yds in this game) is ready to start trying again.
My Pick: ATLANTA (-9.5) over Minnesota; Reality: Vikings 14 – Falcons 24; Leslie Frazier’s response to all the criticism that he received for not going for it on fourth down against Green Bay seems to be to go for it on every fourth down from now until the end of time. This is obviously not a smart move.
My Pick: OAKLAND (-4.5) over Chicago; Reality: Bears 20 – Raiders 25; The events of this past week have been a great boon to three teams in particular: the Giants, Falcons, and Cowboys. With Ndamukong Suh out for two weeks minimum and Caleb Hanie being Caleb Hanie, the NFC wild card picture figures to be a lot less competitive than it looked a week ago.
My Pick: New England (-4) over PHILADELPHIA; Reality: Pats 38 – Eagles 20; The Eagles got up 10-0 early and the Patriots flat out dominated from that point on. The Patriots offense is scary good when Tom Brady gets in rhythm. In other news, water is wet.
My Pick: SAN DIEGO (-4.5) over Denver; Reality: Doncos 16 – Chargers 13; This game went on FOREVER, but when it was done I found myself a Tebow convert. I’m not going to change my liberal ways or start believing in God, but I just don’t have the energy to invest in hating the guy anymore. In other news, enjoy your time on the unemployment line this summer, Norv Turner. NORV TURNER IS THE 99%. Not really though, about 99% of NFL coaches can run a 2-minute drill better than Norv. The other one percent? Andy Reid.
My Pick: Pittsburgh (-10.5) over KANSAS CITY; Reality: Steelers 13- Chiefs 9; This game was way too yucky for me to even consider watching on a Sunday night. FIX YOU SCHEDULE NBC!
My Pick: NY Giants (+7) over NEW ORLEANS; Reality: Giants 24 – Saints 49; There should be some kind of law prohibiting me from picking Giants games.