Dear Morons, No One Wants Brett Favre So Kindly Shut Up

Dear Sportswriters of America,

I guess I should be somewhat thankful that you made it this far into the football season with minimal Brett Favre specualtion, but really I’m not. In the past couple of weeks there have been a rash of quarterback injuries in the NFL. Teams within reach of playoff contention such as the Chiefs, Bears, and Texans have all lost their starters and are stuck playing crappy backup quarterbacks like Tyler Palko and Caleb Hanie, who has the least inspiring name for a quarterback ever. This of course has lead a number of you — led by Mike Florio, who I imagine masturbates feverishly to the Favre fathead in his basement — to baselessly speculate that said teams are interested in the services of the aforementioned Favre. Of course, these teams have all shot down that speculation for one obvious reason. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE BRETT FAVRE PLAY FOOTBALL EVER AGAIN.

Brett Favre WAS a great quarterback, he IS also a narcissistic sociopath who we’ve finally been able to get rid of after three long years of you buttplugs catering to his every whim. Teams don’t want him because at his best these days, with a full off-season to learn an offense, he still throws a bajillion interceptions and then blames other people for his failings (he’s just like a kid out there! a whiny entitled brat). Please, for the love of all that is holy, go back to doing your jobs (which you do poorly, but that’s neither here nor there) and bring me some ACTUAL NEWS, i.e. not something you thought of while sitting on the crapper.

Sincerely,

A Sports Fan

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Posted on December 6, 2011, in Douchebags, NFL and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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