Are You There Whiskey?
Oh, hi there….
I know we haven’t hung out in a while… I’ve been chilling with beer a lot these days… resolutions and all… you get it….
Anyway, I was minding my own business, watching some TV the other day when I unsuspectingly happened upon an episode of NBC’s new comedy Are You There, Chelsea? and, well, seeing you just seemed so appropriate. You see, Are You There, Chelsea? is the reason why we can’t have Community for a few months, and to put this lightly, it sucks huge, hairy, monkey nuts.
The show is based on Chelsea Handler’s book, Are You There Vodka? and stars Laura Prepon (Donna from That 70’s Show) as Chelsea, as well as Handler as her sister (I don’t get it either). There was also a little person, some generic looking dude, a weird chick (derp), a 4 foot tall Asian chick (hurr durr sassy ethnic person), and Lenny Clarke, because that’s what years of drug abuse do to your brain.
Are You There Chelsea? is derivative, plays on broad stereotypes (ethnic people are funny, whoa that girl drinks, how outrageous), and isn’t even remotely funny. Basically, it’s everything that we’ve come to expect from CBS, transplanted to another network. But, that’s not why I thought of you Whiskey, old friend. At one point Chelsea (Prepon) actually prayed to Vodka, seriously.
Now, don’t get a big head thinking I’m going to start praying to you buddy. The truth is, when I saw that and realized that someone who makes a lot of money decided that it was worth putting on television, it dawned on me that the Mayans were totally right. The world is going to end in 2012 and I wanted to spend as many of my remaining days as possible doing the things I love. Thanks for listening…
P.S. I totally get how irony works…